Plate of Cookies
by C.Queen
Summary: Spring has brought love, procreation urges and bad analogies as the crew try to explain to Madoka Shido's puzzling new behavior towards her. From twitterpation to Madoka being a cookie they're cooking up some interesting discussion at the Honky Tonk
1. Twitterpated

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the ideas presented in my various original story lines. I hope that you enjoy this latest bit of insanity and please review because I'd love to hear from you.

Twitterpated

Heads turned and looked up when they heard the familiar chime that announced someone had entered the Honky Tonk. Everyone quickly called out their hellos to Madoka as she walked in with Mozart, taking a seat at the counter beside Ban while Natsumi bounced over to give her usual cheery greeting.

"Hey, Madoka, how are you? Would you like your usual?" Natsumi asked with a beaming smile that faded as soon as she got a good look at her friend's face. "Is something wrong?"

"No, I'm fine. Don't worry about me." Madoka said with a smile that seemed unusually forced for the usually bright and happy girl. Then again at the moment she had absolutely nothing to be cheerful about. In fact miserable was a better word to describe how she was feeling at that moment. "And a hot chocolate sounds great, thanks."

"You don't sound fine." Ginji said in concern, leaning over in his seat to see around Ban so that he could get a better look at his friend. "Are you sick? It has been raining a lot today. Maybe you picked up something?"

"No, I'm not sick." Madoka said with a shake of her head, not even aware that she looked perilously close to crying at the moment.

"Well something's wrong. Did Monkey boy do something?" Ban asked then gawked when tears began to silently appear and slid down Madoka's face, completely unnerving the usual calm and collected GetBacker. "WHAT? What did I say? I'm sorry, really sorry. Are you okay? What did I say? Did something happen to Shido?" Ban asked desperately while Natsumi hurried around the counter to throw an arm over her friend to comfort.

* * *

"He...he...went...to live with...Emishi...for a week or two." Madoka choked out, looking like the very act of saying the words was painful. "I..I..did something...but I don't know what I did to make him mad. I asked him and he said that I hadn't done anything wrong but I know I did."

"What makes you think you did something wrong?" Kazuki wanted to know, a concerned look washing over his face. Something big must have happened to have driven Shido to move out and in with Emishi of all people, even if it was only for a week.

"He..he's been really distant this week, more then usual." Madoka said, wiping away her tears with her hands. "He won't hold my hand anymore or sit beside me. He's never home and he's avoiding me, I know he is. I've tried to think of what I did but I can't think of anything!" She exclaimed, more tears welling up to spill down her pale cheeks. "I don't know what to do!"

"That doesn't sound like Shido at all." Ginji said with a puzzled look on his face. "He loves living at your house with you."

"He is a loner though." Himiko pointed out reasonably from her booth where she was finishing up her pizza that she'd refused to share with Ban and Ginji. "Maybe he just felt the need to have a bit more space for a bit."

"But if that was the case he certainly wouldn't be going to live with that idiot Emishi for a while." Ban pointed out as he swirled in his seat, a thoughtful look on his face while casting a weary look in Madoka's direction every few moments. He liked her and he didn't like to see her upset after all. Stupid Monkey. "Any ideas, Kazuki?" Ban finally asked, figuring Kazuki was the best source since the thread head knew most everything that was going on.

"Well at a guess I'd say spring has sprung a little early for Shido." Kazuki said with a considering look as he absently sipped his tea. He'd wondered when this would happen. Poor Shido. "You shouldn't worry, Madoka, he'll be fine. In a week or so he'll be back to his old self again."

* * *

"What do you mean?" Ban wanted to know, saying what Madoka and the rest were all wondering. "What's wrong with Monkey Boy?"

"Oh wait, I get it. Shido's Twitterpated again, isn't he?" Ginji said with a wise nod of his head that was completely at odds with his words.

"He's what? What the hell?" Ban wanted to know.

"Now why does that word sound familiar." Natsumi added, absently chewing on the bottom of her lip.

"Yes, what is it, Ginji?" Madoka asked earnestly. "Is Shido sick?"

"No, he just gets it every spring. He gets all moody and stuff, goes off on his own a lot more then usual. Kazuki says it's cause Shido is Twitterpated. Shido normally isn't so bad but I guess he might have just been different in the Limitless Fortress." Ginji explained with a shrug, wishing that he could be of more help, much less explain Shido's behavior. "Kazu tried to explain what Twitterpated was exactly but I couldn't really get it. Shido was always back to normal within two weeks though so you shouldn't worry, Madoka."

* * *

"Wait a minute...twitterpated...isn't that...oh!" Himiko said with a chuckle, covering her hand with her mouth to hide her grin before looking over to Kazuki to give him a wink. "Nice explanation, Kazu. A closet Disney kid, huh?"

"It was the best Sakura and I could come up with that Mr. Ginji could understand." Kazuki said with a grin of his own before fixing his face into sober lines since Madoka still looked fairly worried. "There really is nothing to worry about, Madoka."

"But what does Twitterpated mean, Kazuki?" Madoka wanted to know. "If it isn't a disease then why does he get it every spring and why does it make him act like this? Ginji did say he's usually not this bad so maybe his condition is getting worse? Do you think?"

"Well it...means...well it's hard to explain." Kazuki began with a delicate cough, suddenly realizing that he was in a bit of trouble as all eyes went to him with Himiko looking like she was going to burst out laughing at any moment. So far she was the only one that got the situation and he really wasn't interested in explaining it himself.

"Why do you think this is so funny?" Ban demanded to know as he sent Himiko a dark look, her reaction annoying him. Partly because of Madoka and largely because she was getting this and he wasn't.

"I'm sorry but it's just...well think about it, Ban." Himiko said with a smirk, her eyes sparkling with humor as she put it into words Ban would get. "Think more in terms of the animal kingdom and what happens in spring, idiot. The old birds and the bees."

"Birds and the...Oh dear God." Ban said as the light went on. "That bastard."

"Actually you should be saying the opposite since he left." Paul pointed out having also got it from Himiko's wording. Shaking his head he had to feel pity for the Beast Master. The game of love was tough enough without being in love and having the hots for a woman that oozed innocence and purity. Bad enough when you could control yourself but put your hormones into over drive..well he'd leave town too. Well at least if he was more of a gentleman.

* * *

"I still don't understand." Madoka said as she turned her head to look in the direction of everyone else. What was she missing? It was obvious that some of them knew what was wrong with Shido but they didn't seem to want to explain it to her in a way she could understand. But why?

"I don't get it either." Natsumi chimed in with Ginji nodding his agreement too. "What is it Himiko, Paul and Ban get? And why did Ban call Shido a bastard?"

"You'd run too, Ban." Kazuki added, deciding to add his two cents as he went back to sipping his tea. "It is her after all. It's hard to miss how hard he works to keep things neutral between them despite certain obvious feelings on both sides."

"Don't talk to him about that, you'd be wasting your time. He wouldn't run if his life depended on it." Himiko said with a smirk in an annoyed Ban's direction. "He wouldn't know how to be a gentleman if you gave him an idiot's guide to becoming one."

"Oh shut up, Brat."

"Well then, Ban. Why don't you explain all this to Madoka?" Himiko asked sweetly, seizing the opportunity to make his life just that much worse. "After all you're so smart. I'm sure this will be a piece of cake for you."

"Yeah, Ban. Can you explain it, please?" Ginji asked, fixing his innocent brown eyes on his best friend who literally shrank before him at the idea. "I'm sure you could explain it in a way we'd all understand, you're so smart and all."

* * *

"This'll be good." Paul commented with a smile, leaning against the counter as he waited to see how Ban intended to get himself out of this one.

"Oh you are so gonna pay for this, Himiko. If it's the last thing I do on this earth, you're going to pay for this one." Ban muttered, feeling crowded and exposed as Ginji, Madoka and Natsumi all stared in his direction intently. There wasn't going to any way of getting out of this one now. Damn Himiko. But how the hell was he supposed to explain it without getting into topics he sure as hell had no intention of getting into. He was gonna have to be really careful on this one. "Well...you see..Natsumi...twitterpated was Threadhead's way of telling you that Shido's...more animal instincts have kicked in. The way it does for most animals in spring."

"Animal instincts?" Ginji repeated, sending his best buddy a confused look on his face. "But he has those all the time, Ban. Why should the season matter? He's not any tougher in spring though he is a bit more sluggish in winter."

"What I mean is that animals have much more simpler needs and goals then humans do." Ban said, a small hint of panic in his voice since it was obvious they still weren't getting it. "This just happens to be the season when certain needs are in more control then usual."

"But most animals don't want to be alone." Natsumi said with a completely out to sea look on her face. "Why would Shido's animal instincts be telling him to go off on his own and away from Madoka?"

"No, what I'm saying is Shido is going against those instincts."

"I still don't get it, Ban."

* * *

"Ask Himiko then, Ginji." Ban said with a dark smile in Himiko's direction. "I'm obviously not up to explaining but I'm sure someone as smart as Himiko could put it into terms you guys would understand."

"Whaaaa?" Himiko choked, her bite of pizza going down the wrong way as she hastened to swallow as eyes were suddenly all on her.

"Would you please explain, Himiko?" Madoka asked, her eyes watering again in a way that Himiko couldn't even think about trying to talk her way out of this. Damn Ban.

"Uhmmm..well...you see, Madoka..what the idiot was trying to explain was that..well... In the animal kingdom mammals and maybe other animals give off certain smells for different reasons. Like a skunk sprays bad stuff to warn people off or a wolf will mark his territory." Himiko said nervously, trying to get to the answer in as roundabout way as possible. "Humans are mammals and they give off pheromones too only the human nose can't detect them because their senses of smell just aren't up to it. Shido's nose is because he's got heightened senses as a Beast Master and is very much in touch with his wilder instincts. What Ban was trying to say was that because Shido's allowed his senses and body to remain as intuned with the animal world as possible it means that he has to put up with the disadvantages as well as the advantages."

* * *

"So you're saying that Shido's bad moods are because of him being a Beast Master?" Madoka said carefully, trying to put the pieces together.

"Exactly." Himiko said in a relieved voice, sending Ban a smug look for having gotten out of it so easily.

"But then why isn't he likes this all the time, Miss. Himiko?" Ginji wanted to know, picking up on the major flaw to Himiko's argument.

"Oh well...you see...it's like Ban said about...Kazuki?" Himiko said weakly, sending the thread master a desperate silent plea for help here. Surely Kazuki could explain this all in a way these simple, pure minded kids could get. She was younger then them for Christ sakes. She shouldn't have to be the one explaining all this to them. How could they have reached this age and still be so clueless?

"Well I...you see..." Kazuki began then suddenly getting an idea of complete and total brilliance turned to zero in on Ban. There was no way he was going to have to try explaining this to Mr. Ginji again. He'd been through that headache enough times and it was time for someone else to have to shoulder that burden. And Ban was just the man who deserved to be stuck with it. "Ban, I'll pay off half your tab if you explain this to them."

"Half..half...our tab?" Ban repeated slowly, losing what little color he'd gotten back at the cruelty of Kazuki's proposition. On the one hand Paul would start feeding them again if half their tab was paid off and he was major hungry thanks to Himiko waving her pizza in his face. But on the other hand, to have to explain this... Food or pride, food or pride...food or..damn, who was he kidding? "Okay, it's a deal." Ban said as he leaned over to shake Kazuki's hand to seal the deal. Taking a deep breath Ban turned in his seat and straightening his shoulders could only hope for the best. "Okay...lets try...a visual okay? Lets say that...that there a boy in this kitchen and there's a plate of cookies on the kitchen counter and no one is in sight to stop him from eating them all."

"What kind of cookies?" Ginji wanted to know.

* * *

"That's not important, Ginji." Ban said darkly then seeing Ginji's hurt look sighed. "Okay, they were chocolate chip and they were the boy's favorite cookies in the whole world. Now he really wants to eat those cookies but the problem is that he knows it's wrong to eat them. That he's not supposed to."

"Why can't he have any?" Natsumi asked, frowning at the story. "It would be pretty mean for his mom to make them and not let him have any."

"They were for a charity bake sale." Ban said in exasperation, sending a chuckling Himiko another dark look. "So as much as he wants to eat those cookies he knows he can't so instead of staying in the kitchen and looking at what he can't have he leaves the kitchen rather then risk eating one anyway. Now the point of the story is that Shido is the little boy and Madoka is the plate of cookies."

"Oh my God!" Himiko laughed, her arms wrapping around her waist as she gave herself over to laughter. "That is the stupidest analogy I have ever heard!"

"Actually I was thinking it was pretty creative." Kazuki said, hiding his own smile behind his tea cup. What would Shido say if he was here, listening to all this? Probably die of embarrassment or kill Ban where he stood, Kazuki thought in amusement. He really should feel bad for his friend but this really was too funny. Imagine using cookies as an analogy.

* * *

"I'm a plate of cookies?" Madoka asked in confusion as she tried to sort this all out. "So what you're saying is that Shido left because for some reason he thought he couldn't stay with me? But why? Why would he have to leave because it's spring and he has better senses then everyone else? And if it's me then why was he like this before he knew me?"

"What he means is that before Shido had other cookies to chose from but this time there's only one sort of cookie he wants." Kazuki piped up, taking pity on Ban who really was trying his best. Himiko wasn't helping matters either.

"Only one kind of cookie he wants..." Madoka repeated, the light beginning to dawn though it wasn't quite at full illumination yet. She hadn't taken much science as a kid and she'd been home schooled due to her music but she did remember that spring was a very important time in the animal kingdom. It was a time when animals came out of their winter hibernation and began building their nests, flying back from other places and beginning their new lives. Starting new lives.

* * *

"Who are the other cookies?" Ginji wanted to know, this analogy interesting him. He liked cookies.

"Well those would be any other girl." Ban explained before turning to Paul with a smile on his face. "A coffee in my special cup please along with a pizza for Ginji and I."

Looking over at Kazuki questioningly Paul nodded when Kazuki gave his affirmation. "Coming right up." Paul said as he turned to get the stuff going, thinking absently that Kazuki was in for a big shock when he found out just how big a tab Ban and Ginji had running at the moment.

"So Sakura, Natsumi and Hevn are cookies too? What kind of cookies are they? I've never heard of someone referring to a girl as a cookie before. Why do you think they're like cookies, Ban?" Ginji wanted to know.

to be cont


	2. Torture and Top Ten List

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but my incredibly screwed up ideas and original characters. Any psychological or emotional damage suffered as a result of one of my fics is to be expected and you should know better. Thanks to all those who have read and reviewed and please, please continue to do so, I love hearing from you.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYONE!

Torture and Top Ten List

"Well actually..I guess anyone could be a cookie with my analogy." Ban said as he ran his hand through his spiky hair in a sign of frustration. He'd succeeded with Madoka but he was getting the distinct feeling there was at least one person still in the dark though Natsumi looked a little confused still too.

"Oh...but then why didn't you say that before?" Ginji wanted to know, now having to try to understand how everyone, including himself could be a cookie. Then again he wasn't getting a lot of what everyone was saying and it was starting to get more then a little annoying. Everyone was so vague, like it was a matter of life or death that they couldn't come out and say whatever was going on in plain, easy to understand words.

"Well using his incredibly weird analogy the only cookies Shido would be interested in were girls." Paul explained as he set a cup of hot chocolate in front of Ginji who took it with a big smile on his face. "If it were someone else then their preferred cookie might have been different."

"So...what kind of cookie do we like, Ban?" Ginji asked innocently, even more confused then before when Ban's face went red. "Was it something I said?"

"We like girl cookies, Ginji. ONLY girl cookies." Ban said forcefully, putting as much emphasis on the word only as he could.

"Okay." Ginji quickly agreed since Ban seemed so worked up about it.

* * *

"So you're getting that whole cookie analogy, Madoka?" Natsumi wanted to know as she leaned over the counter, grabbing Madoka's attention which had been busy putting pieces of the big puzzle together. 

"Yes, I think I do." Madoka said with a reddish blush on her cheeks.

"Well then can you explain it to me?" Natsumi asked eagerly, anxious for her friend to explain things so that she could get what everyone else was talking about. "Cause I'm still in the dark and this is really starting to bug me."

"Yeah, can you?" Ginji piped up encouragingly.

"Oh well I..I don't know if I could come up with a better explanation then Ban's." Madoka protested, her cheeks going even brighter then before. "But I guess...well...Natsumi..do you remember that time we went shopping for Hevn last month and those men came over to talk to us?"

"You mean those jerks that kept trying to look down Hevn's shirt and pretending to be nice while leering at us?" Natsumi asked, remembering the event as being extremely annoying and a definite downer on that shopping expedition.

"Wait a minute..some guys were bugging you girls?" Ban demanded to know, setting his cup down with a light thud. Hevn, well Hevn asked to get hit on and propositioned the way she dressed and manipulated guys with their hormones. Madoka and Natsumi on the other hand were a whole other ball game. "Who were they? Did they try anything? Why didn't you tell us sooner? Those sons of a bitches!"

* * *

"Who were they, Natsumi? We'll make them sorry they ever bothered you girls, right Ban?" Ginji said with flames in his eyes, Ban looking the same and even Paul and Kazuki were looking like they'd join in the lynching depending on what Natsumi said. Imagine, bothering sweet, innocent girls like Natsumi and Madoka. Madoka was blind for Christ sakes! 

"Don't worry, Emishi took care of those mean men." Natsumi said with a guileless smile, completely missing the murderous rage coming off her would be male protectors. "He had to get somewhere downtown so Madoka told him we could give him a ride if he met us at the mall after we were done. He sure had them running in a hurry."

"What did he do to them?" Kazuki wanted to know, wanting to make sure the punishment fit the crime.

"Well he told them that if they ever came near any of us again he'd get Jubei to crucify them to the ground and then he'd get Shido to sic rats on them to slowly eat them alive." Natsumi said with a wrinkle of her nose. "Wasn't that just a gross threat. Of course those two would never do such a thing but those boys sure believed it."

* * *

"Well actually..never mind." Kazuki said with a shake of his head, deciding to leave it. He didn't think it wise to tell Natsumi that the Lightening Emperor, his Four Kings and their personal second in commands had all done some pretty..well...had laid out some serious punishment in their day to those who mistreated any woman, much less what had been done to anyone who'd even looked at Sakura wrong. 

"That old threat?" Ginji said with a considering look on his face. "I always liked Kazuki's the best personally though mine when I was the Lightening Emperor wasn't bad either."

"What was yours, Ginji?" Ban wanted to know with a thoughtful look on his face. Seeing the uneasy look coming over Ginji's face Ban clued in and leaned closer so that Ginji could whisper it in his ear.

Leaning over with his hands cupped around Ban's ear Ginji quickly whispered his threat. "Well I'd threaten to jam my fist in their throat and fry them from the inside."

"Nice..can you really do that?"

"Well I don't really know, I never tried." Ginji said with a shrug before looking back over at Madoka. "Speaking of not knowing..how does this shopping thing have anything to do with Shido?"

"Well what I was going to say was that the guys behavior..well they were obviously only interested in one thing when it came to Hevn..I was gonna try to use that as an analogy." Madoka said with a weak smile. She was innocent but she wasn't so innocent that she was clueless as to what teenage guys leering at women meant. Shido had even given her a lecture on it telling her then when a guy stared at her in a way she didn't like she was to slap said guy, sic Mozart on the bad man and then get him, Shido, to finish the job.

* * *

"What does getting a good look at Hevn's breasts have to do with cookies or Shido? For that matter it's not hard to see hers anyway." Ginji pointed out, visibly frustrated. "I mean all you have to do is look in her direction. I don't think even a blind man could miss those things!" 

"Oh, Ginji. It's gonna be hell once you find yourself a girl." Ban said with a shake of his head, already picturing the nightmare that would be trying to explain things to his best friend on the guy's wedding day. Hell, sheer and total hell.

"Wait a minute...are you saying that...?" Natsumi began, her cheeks going pink as she struggled to find a way to put her thoughts into words. "But that can't be right. I mean if that was the way it is then why would Shido go away? I mean..wouldn't he want to..uhm..stay?" Natsumi finished weakly as she looked at Himiko for confirmation since she was the only girl here who knew for sure what was going on.

"A guy like Shido is too much of a gentleman to stay." Himiko said with a sympathetic look as the girl went an even brighter red, almost as red as Madoka. "Who says chivalry is dead after all. Madoka's lucky to have him."

"How could you think anyone stuck with Monkey Boy is lucky?" Ban demanded to know, twirling in his seat to stare at her in disbelief. The every idea just blew him away. "It's Monkey Boy!" Ban reminded her, thinking that there just had to be some sort of mistake. There was just no way that Himiko could actually think that anyone would be lucky to get stuck with Shido. With Madoka it was understandable, she couldn't see the bastard after all and was innocent to the ways of the world. Himiko on the other hand was neither.

* * *

"Yeah, so? Any girl with half a brain would pick a guy like Shido over you any day." Himiko shot back sweetly, leaning back in her chair with a cat that got the canary smile on her face. Oh but this was going to be good. That's right, you idiot. Fall right into my trap so that I can snap it on your idiot neck, Himiko thought with a decidedly evil look of anticipation coming into her eyes. "I mean really, it's Shido." 

"What the hell is there to like about Shido? I bet you can't even come up with ten logical reasons why any girl would want to go out with a guy like him. He's a dark loner who's obsessed with animals for Christ Sakes, no offense, Madoka." Ban objected, smacking a fist against the counter top in agitation. He didn't like hearing that Himiko preferred Shido over him as possible dating material. He didn't like it at all.

"None taken. Seeing as I agree with Himiko. No offense, Ban" Madoka said with a small, impish smile. She loved Shido after all, his good and his bad points. That's what it meant to love someone after all. Not that Ban wasn't a wonderful guy but he just wasn't her guy.

"And I'll take that bet since it's easy as pie. Or a cookie." Himiko said with a laugh as she straightened in her seat so that she was facing Ban. "Number one he's very good looking and hot. Number two he's in great physical shape. Number three he's old fashioned in a good way, courteous, he knows how to treat a woman with respect. Number four he's handy and willing to work hard at whatever he's doing. Number five is that he'd never freeload off of someone or borrow money he didn't have every intention of paying back." Himiko said, her pointed look aimed at both Ginji and Ban on that one. "Number six is the fact that he's willing to do chores around the house and doesn't need to be asked or nagged into doing them. Number seven he's kind to animals and takes good care of them when they need him. He also gets upset if anything happens to them, they aren't just animals to him. Number eight is the fact that if said girlfriend was ever in danger Shido could easily protect her and make sure that nothing bad happened. I mean I've seen that guy in action and believe me, it would take a lot to even phase him. Number nine he's got plenty of stamina and endurance and number ten and one of his finest qualities..he doesn't LIKE YOU." Himiko said as she pointed at Ban with a feral grin on her face. "Like I said, easy as a cookie."

* * *

Too stupefied to even say anything Ban just stared at her from behind his glasses, too busy trying to come to terms with what she said to even comment on them. Especially number one, two and eight. 

"Yeah, Shido is a pretty great guy." Ginji agreed with a nod, casting a weary eye in Ban's direction since his best friend was giving off some pretty weird vibes. "But why is his endurance and stamina reasons why a girl would want to date him? I mean isn't that the same as being able to protect a girl?"

"Uhmmm...well..." Himiko began, a little speechless herself now. She'd thrown that in just to piss off Ban after all. "Good point..Ginji..." Himiko finished weakly, relieved when he accepted that answer and didn't comment any further on it, spoiling her one up on Ban who looked like he'd just been hit upside the head with a two by four.

* * *

Chuckling into his raised tea cup Kazuki had to hand it to Himiko, that had certainly been a nice save. Watching Ban lift his coffee cup to take a drink Kazuki hoped the poor guy wouldn't choke on it. This wasn't Ban's day, Kazuki thought as he brought the tea to his lips for another sip. 

"Well gee...and to think my next question was going to be whether there was anything Madoka could do to help poor Shido." Natsumi said ruefully, having a split mili second to begin to shake her head when the sound of Ban and Kazuki both choking on their drinks hit her ears. "Opps."

"Deep breath guys!" Ginji said frantically, whacking them both on the back since they were on either side of him.

"Oh boy." Kazuki said with a choked laugh, shaking his head as leaned against the counter for support. "I'm alright, Mr. Ginji. You can stop now."

"HOW COULD YOU THINK SHIDO'S HOT?"

"And his annoying voice returns." Himiko said dryly as she watched Ban alternate between choke, try to push away Ginji's attempts to help and glare at her, all at the same time. "And easily, I have eyes, don't I? Madoka knows he is and she can't even see for that matter."

"What the hell have you been inhaling recently?" Was Ban's angry resort as he centered all his attention on glaring at her while the others watched with various degrees of amusement.

* * *

"I think Ban's got his eye on one cookie in particular too, don't you think?" Natsumi whispered into Madoka's ear, her eyes shining with mischief. 

"Yeah, a rather poisonous one at that too." Madoka agreed in a whisper and smile of her own. "I don't think they realize that their plate of cookies is right there in front of them."

"So what are you going to do about, Shido?" Natsumi wanted to know, the two tuning out the argument between Ban and Himiko as it heated up quickly which was nothing new, especially recently. "I mean once he comes back? I have a feeling he'll only be able to put up with Emishi for so long before he can't take it anymore and comes back home to you."

"Well I'm not sure what I'm going to do exactly." Madoka confessed with a sigh, resting her elbows on the counter before settling her head on her hands. "What I want to do is go and get him but I cant' do that. He'd kill me for even thinking about going near the Limitless Fortress, much less actually going in."

"Well that and you wouldn't survive the visit." Paul pointed out having come over to see if whatever the girls were talking about was more interesting then Himiko and Ban going at it. Again.

* * *

"That too." Madoka agreed with a sigh, then picking her head up took a deep breath, a determined look coming over her face. A girl was just gonna have to do what a girl had to do. It was time for her to take matters into her own hands. "But I guess I know what I need to do to be ready..when Shido comes back." 

"What are you going to do?" Natsumi wanted to know.

"I'm going to have to call Hevn and I'm going to have to go shopping." Madoka said after taking another deep breath.

"Shopping? With Hevn?" Natsumi asked, wondering how that was going to help Shido or Madoka for that matter. "Shopping for what? Where? We were just at the mall last week. Did you forget to get something?"

"No..I just didn't know I needed something...like that." Madoka said for lack of a better word as she got off her seat, her hands reaching out to grab Mozart's handle. "Anyway, good bye everyone..sorry for causing so much trouble earlier. Thank you for clearing things up, Ban." Madoka added, interrupting Ban and Himiko's argument as she bowed slightly in his direction. "I'll see all of you soon I hope." Everyone calling out good byes of their own Madoka headed towards the door, in luck when the door was opened just as she was about to reach for it.

* * *

"Hello, Madoka." Jubei said as he carefully walked in, using the wall to guide him inside. He recognized her by her scent as well as presence, he was getting really good at it and Madoka had told him he'd only get better with time. "Leaving?" 

"Yes, have a good day, Jubei." Madoka replied, heading out while Jubei wandered in, trying to find Kazuki. Once she was on the street Madoka pulled out her cell phone and dialing the right number was glad when Hevn picked up on the third ring. "Hevn? It's me, Madoka. Are you busy right now? For say an hour or so?"

"Nothing that I can't push aside for a bit. Why, what's up?" Hevn asked curiously, wondering what could be up. Obviously not a job but the girl's voice suggested that it was important. Something to do with Shido perhaps?

"I need to go shopping and I need your help to do it." Madoka said in a rush, needing to do this before she chickened out. "I was hoping you could come with me and help me pick out something."

"What's the occasion?"

"A cure for spring fever."

* * *

"Here I am." Kazuki said having got off his stool to help Jubei find his way since his friend was looking at a loss as to which way to go even though the Honky Tonk wasn't exactly all that big. Leading his best friend over to the seat beside him Kazuki was glad for the company, especially now that for the moment Ban and Himiko were too busy pouting to argue more. "You've missed some lively discussion." 

"About what?" Jubei wanted to know curiously.

"Hey wait, maybe Jubei can explain it to me cause I still don't get it, guys!"


	3. Sex Education

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the ideas my twisted, defying all descriptions mind. Any psychological damage I do I apologize for but really, having read my stuff you should know better lol. Anyways I hope you enjoy this new chapter and please review, I really, really love hearing from you. Thanks and have a great day!

THREE IMPORTANT NOTES: 1) There are various spellings of Jubei's named presented, I'm gonna stick with my current spelling but thanks for commenting. 2) I've heard rumors that Ban and Himiko are distantly related possibly but until it's confirmed and they are proven to be too close biologically for comfort I'll continue considering them a possible pairing. 3) This takes place a year after the Getbacker series.

Sex Education

"Well...we sort of got on the twitterpated subject again." Kazuki said with a rueful look in Jubei's direction. "Madoka wanted to know why Shido was over at Emishi's for the week and while she and Natsumi managed to get our analogies..well I'm afraid Mr. Ginji didn't."

"Twitterpated? Not that juvenile Bambi movie again." Jubei said with a wince, shaking his head at the very mentioning of it. By the gods but he hated that analogy and couldn't believe that his Kazuki was still using it. "Why don't you just spell it out to him? You know he doesn't get things well unless you lay it out for him in easy to understand terms."

"Of course I know that but it's not my place to have that sort of talk with Mr. Ginji." Kazuki argued, faint color appearing on his cheeks at the idea. He wasn't Ginji's parents after all, that was supposed to be a parent's job darn it.

"Well if you aren't going to tell him then who is?" Jubei pointed out reasonable, out to sea as to why this was apparently so difficult. How hard could it be to explain sex to a reasonably intelligent adult male? Ginji wasn't the brightest bulb in the word but the boy was smart enough to get something this uncomplicated. And for that matter..."Do you really want Shido or that idiot Midou giving him the facts of life? When you think about it Mokubex probably knows more and the boy's only fifteen to Ginji's nineteen. That really should be rectified."

"That may be true but Mokubex has access to the Internet and spends a great deal of his time surfing the web. If he didn't have more knowledge then Mr. Ginji and I put together I'd be very surprised." Kazuki pointed out hotly, not liking the way this was going at all. After all it wasn't like he hadn't tried to help Mr. Ginji to understand.

* * *

"Yeah and if you don't want me explaining it to him then why don't you put your money where your mouth is and tell him yourself. You see just how easy you think it is then, Doc." Ban added, not at all pleased either by Jubei's opinions on the matter.

"Well I guess I'll have to since none of you seem capable of doing it." Jubei said calmly, shrugging his shoulders like it was no big deal. "Because really, it would be wrong to allow him to continue on this course. As he is relatively popular with the female species it's only a matter of time before this sort of knowledge is key."

"Really? You'll really explain it to me, Jubei? You never tried to before." Ginji said thoughtfully, looking at Jubei with a curious tilt to his head. Jubei was a man of few words and he'd never really had a real conversation since Jubei preferred to let Kazuki do most of the talking. Come to think of it the longest talk they'd ever had hadn't lasted more then five minutes if that. The only people who could really get Jubei talking were Kazuki and Sakura chan.

"No one, including you ever asked me to." Jubei pointed out which was absolutely true.

"Well how were we to know you'd be willing to try? You never volunteered to step in and help." Kazuki said with an exasperated look in Jubei's direction. "Do you realize how much stress and headaches you could have saved me if you'd volunteered to do this before now?"

"Well I didn't realize any of you would have such a problem discussing something so basic and natural to our species." Jubei said with another shrug, not getting the big deal. "I simply assumed that since you never asked me for help that you didn't need it." Slumping in his seat Kazuki didn't know what to say to that.

* * *

"Well I guess..since you were trained to be a physician ..this wouldn't be such a big deal, huh?" Himiko said sheepishly, feeling a little childish and silly now that Jubei had put it the way he had. It really wasn't something to get all worked up about the way they had.

"One of the reasons." Jubei agreed before turning in the direction Ginji's voice had come from earlier. "Do you want your talk now then?"

"Yes please!"

"All right then." Jubei said as he got to his feet, using the counter as a way of guiding him towards the door. "Then you and I will go for a walk. Kazuki, I'd appreciate it if you could wait here for me, this shouldn't take too long."

"So in other words you can't tell it in front of us." Ban said smugly, smirking in Jubei's direction.

* * *

"I could but that might offend any customers that might come in not to mention the last thing someone with Mr. Ginji's attention span needs is distractions which you would all doubtlessly provide. Listening to you all snicker like children and add in your comments will only make this take longer and Kazuki and I have plans." Jubei said with a hint of edge to his voice, not at all liking the implications underlining Ban's words.

"Okay, lets go then." Ginji said brightly since he'd already inhaled his share of their pizza. Eager to finally understand what was going on he moved over to take Jubei's arm to help guide him towards the door. "So are we just gonna walk around or are we going to the park? That way you won't have an audience since the park should be pretty empty since school isn't out yet."

"That would be fine." Jubei agreed with a nod. Getting to the door Jubei suddenly turned around to face them again. "Kazuki..your word that there won't be any listening in on this."

Tugging on the string he'd attached to Jubei's back as he was leaving Kazuki sighed and forced a smile on his face to hide his disappointment. "All right, I promise."

"Thank you." Jubei said with a nod and let Ginji lead them out the door and down the block.

* * *

"Damn it, Thread head. Why couldn't you have just lied to him?" Ban demanded to know a half an hour later as he sat at the counter, tapping his fingers against the wood. "Then we'd know what the hell he was telling Ginji."

"Unlike you I don't believe in lying to my best and oldest friend." Kazuki said primly though he too was regretting that he hadn't given in to temptation and left the string in place. "They should be back soon. After all, how long could it take?"

"Well that would depend on how much detail he's going into now wouldn't it." Paul pointed out reasonably as he dried off a cup before placing it back in it's proper place. "This is Ginji we're talking about after all."

"Don't remind me." Ban said darkly, sending Paul a dirty look. "I mean who knows what Jubei is telling him. I mean Jubei is gay and all."

"And what does that have to do with anything?" Kazuki demanded to know, sending Ban a dark look that suggested he might just be envisioning looping some of his threads around Ban's neck and tightening them. "And since you couldn't bring yourself to give him an accurate description you should just be thankful Jubei offered to do it for you."

"Both of you should just chill and wait. Getting all worked up about this isn't going to make them come back any faster." Himiko commented dryly, shaking her head at them both. Not that she wasn't just as curious but at least she had come class about it.

* * *

"Hey, here they are now!" Natsumi chirped, pointing out the front windows ten minutes later, Ginji and Jubei walking past on their way to the door. Everyone waiting with baited breath they watched as Ginji led Jubei back over to Kazuki then took his seat beside Ban with his usual happy go lucky smile, like he didn't have a care in the world.

"Well?" Ban demanded, elbowing Ginji in the side when his friend did nothing but ask Paul for another hot chocolate. God but what had needle boy told Ginji? Ginji didn't look any different or traumatized.

"Huh? What?" Ginji said with a blank look on his face before the light dawned. Still smiling Ginji proceeded to tell his friend some of the things he'd learned. "Oh, yeah, I understand now. Jubei explained it so you don't have to worry about it anymore. Hey, Ban, did you know that the male praying mantis gets eaten by the female once they're done having sex? And that it's the male sea horse that carries around the baby rather then the girl? Jubei also said that cod fish have like over five million eggs at a time but that's because all creatures that don't watch over their young after their born have to have lots since most won't survive. Isn't that cool? Did you know that, Ban?"

"You spent all that time avoiding the subject by filling his head full of useless animal sex trivia?" Ban demanded, sending Jubei an outraged look.

"Well there wasn't really any need to give him a talk about human reproduction since he'd already been taught everything he really needed to learn." Jubei said calmly as he accepted his coffee from Paul, unaware that Kazuki and Ban were gapping at him. "His guardian in the Limitless Fortress explained it all to him when he was old enough to understand and ask about the subject. If any of you had just bothered to ask him straight out about his sex education he could have told you that. You just confused him with your analogies and misguided attempts to explain the matter without talking about it like mature adults. If you'd simply been up front about the topic under discussion you wouldn't have had to go to all the trouble you all did trying to get your strange points across."

* * *

Slumping forward in his seat with a look of disbelief Kazuki didn't know what to say while Ban responded by banging his head against the counter a couple of times to show his frustration and anxiety about the whole mess.

"Uhmm...I get the cookie story now." Ginji hesitantly added, patting Ban's shoulder in sympathy, hoping that Ban would be happy that at least he didn't have to come up with any more weird analogies. "Uhm...did you know that all clams start out as guys but some can chose to be girls..if they want to?"

"No, Ginji. I didn't know that." Ban said wearily, remaining slumped in his seat.

"Out of morbid curiousity...how did you guys get on the subject of weird animal facts?" Himiko asked, torn between being embarrassed about her part in all this and lapping up the pleasure of watching Ban's humiliation.

"Thanks to you actually. Ginji asked me to explain all your analogies and yours was to talk about pheromones. He wanted to know more about that and it simply led to how animals attract their mates and since he was interested I told him a few interesting bits I remembered reading about." Jubei replied between sips. "It tied in with the whole spring fever idea."

* * *

"I can't believe this." Kazuki said as he put his face in his hands. "All this time...all those headaches and would be ulcers..for nothing."

"Well on the bright side I think all this worked to the advantage that Madoka finally got what was going on. When Shido goes back to the house at the end of the week she won't be thinking that she did something wrong." Himiko said with a shrug, trying to find the bright side in all of this.

"He'll be back sooner then that."

"What do you mean, Needle boy?" Ban wanted to know, giving his new most hated person in the room a glare.

"When I left Sakura had just stopped Shido from throwing Emishi out a window because Emishi was teasing him about Madoka. Given the way Emishi was spouting on the idea that Shido was too weak and cowardly to be around Madoka one can only assume Shido will go back as a matter of pride." Jubei calmly informed them. "And given his present mood it's a very good thing that she understands why he'll be behaving differently."

"Oh dear." Kazuki said with a small frown.

* * *

"He wouldn't do anything to her, would he?" Ban demanded to know then went as red as a tomato as the way his words could be taken hit home. "What I meant was that if he was violent around Emishi then maybe..possibly...ah hell." Ban finished abruptly, raking a nervous hand through his hair.

"It's unlikely. It's more feasible to assume that he'll simple make his claim of her known to her and any would be rivals. Since he has none as far as I know then it's unlikely blood will be shed to a worrisome degree." Jubei said with a considering look before pushing his cup forward. "Miss. Natsumi, may I have a refill please?"

"Of course." Natsumi said brightly, hurrying over to do so.

"What do you mean, to a worrisome degree?" Himiko wanted to know. "I mean if there's no rivals there shouldn't be any bloodshed..unless you mean Emishi."

"No, I wasn't referring to Emishi." Jubei said before thanking Natsumi for the fresh coffee. Normally blunt to a fault he wasn't so stupid as to know that wording was going to be key in his explanation. He had no wish to offend Miss. Natsumi or Miss. Himiko. "Miss. Madoka has never had a relationship with any male other then Shido and therefore it would be relatively safe to assume that she remains chaste. That combined with her small stature and lack of any serious sort of physically challenging activity leaves the possibility as a feasible one."

"Oh." Was all Himiko could think to say. She got it.

* * *

"Huh?" Ginji said with a confused look on his face. "Is that another analogy, Jubei?"

"No, it was simply a polite way of answering Miss. Himiko's question without risking offending someone." Kazuki interjected before Jubei could get it into his head to explain things in words Ginji would understand. "It's not necessary for you to understand."

"Oh. Okay." Ginji said then turned to ask Ban if he got it only to find his partner looking like he was about to blow a gasket. "Ban? Hey, Ban? What's wrong?"

"He lays one hand on her and I'm breaking those hands. I'll grind his bones down to a god damn powder for his animals to lap up." Ban said savagely, his white knuckled hands going into tight fists at his sides.

"Well aren't you sounding like a jealous boyfriend." Himiko said saucily, sending Ban a strange look that would have had Ban pausing to wonder if he hadn't been so worked up about the idea of Shido laying hands on Madoka in that way.

"I'm not jealous, I'm furious!" Ban corrected hotly, flames and violent energy practically pumping out of him. "Madoka is a former client and friend and as such it is my duty to make sure that lecherous bastards like Shido don't try anything to hurt her."

"Shido would never hurt Madoka, Ban." Ginji said with a shake of his head. "And if he does go back I'm sure he'll be a perfect gentleman with her. It's Shido!"

Meanwhile later that Evening

Standing outside the gates to the mansion he'd lived in for over a year Shido had to fight the urge to bust open the gates rather then wait for them to open after he'd put in the correct code. Damn, Emishi. Damn Jubei and Sakura for stopping him from throwing the mouthy bastard out the damn window. Then at least there'd have been some bloody peace and quiet. That's what he needed. He needed to find some windowless, soundproof room and lock himself in there for the rest of the week. Then there'd be no Emishi, no animals telling him that he was being a stupid idiot. His animals were supposed to be on his side after all damn it. They weren't supposed to be calling him stupid and a coward for not simply taking what was there to be taken. Easy for them to say. Animals were all about mating, producing young and then hopefully dying as unviolent a death as possible. They didn't have to worry about something called morals or the idea of right and wrong. Hell some of them even killed their mates after sex. The gates open far enough for him to get in Shido walked in, shoulders hunched defensively and a back pack slugged over one arm as he started up the drive. He couldn't put his hands on her, there was just no way he could justify it. Even if she let him that still didn't change the fact that it was Madoka and that he couldn't risk losing her because of his damn hormones. That was something Snake for brains would do. He'd simply go in, go straight to bed and go back to avoiding her. If that didn't work then he'd get a hotel somewhere and hold up in there. He wouldn't tell anyone where he was and he'd simply sweat this whole thing out before going back. He'd cook up some sort of excuse for Madoka and if that didn't work he'd work his way back into her good graces like he had after he'd accidentally told her that her cooking was toxic at her summer house. She couldn't stay mad at anyone for very long. It was just one of the things that he loved about her, even as it frustrated the hell out of him worrying about it. God it was tough being in love with, wanting a woman who could be the patron saint of chastity and goodness.

* * *

Sighing over that Shido made his way into the house and after hanging up his jacket in the closet and putting away his shoes headed for his bedroom. Silently making his way up the stairs and down the hall he opened his door and closing it behind him threw his back pack in the general direction of his closet. Taking off his vest and shirt Shido threw them after the pack and was about to undo his pants when he noticed that Mozart was sleeping beside his bed. "What the hell?" Shido whispered, his eyes going over to the bed with a sense of dread. "Oh hell no." 


	4. Late Night Treat

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters of which there really aren't any in this fic and the original ideas including my cookie analogy lol. Thanks to all those who have been reviewing and please continue to do so since I love hearing from you! Have a great day and enjoy.

Late Night Treat

"Hey, guys!" Emishi said cheerfully as he walked into the Honky Tonk to find Ban, Ginji, Natsumi and Paul as the only occupants. "Well isn't this place just lively, think I can get a seat in the next hour or so?" He added teasingly as he took a seat at the front counter.

"Hi, Emishi!" Natsumi said brightly as she came over to get his order. "What are you doing here? Why didn't you bring Shido with you or didn't he want to come with you?"

"He went home." Emishi said with a grin and a shrug. "He said that if he stayed with me one more minute he was going to either throw me out the window or strangle me with my own whip. He was pissed off enough to do it too. I haven't seen the man that edgy since..hell I've never seen Shido so edgy." Emishi said with a shake of his head, still half amused by the whole thing. Now it was funny but at the time he'd been dead certain Shido wasn't kidding which of course had made him more then a little uneasy.

"And you let him go back to Madoka?" Ban demanded, looking Emishi like he was thinking of sending the man out of a window himself.

"Well let wouldn't be the word I'd use. More like I got out of the way as he stormed out of my apartment. I followed him to make sure no one got in his way and ended up dead though." Emishi said with a mock shudder. "Besides, with Madoka is likely the safest place for him to be. He'll keep his temper under control."

"It's not his temper I'm worried about, you idiot!" Ban said as he whacked Emishi upside the head. "Do you have any idea what might be happening at this moment because you were too stupid to realize how important it was to keep Shido away from her right now!"

"Opps?"

* * *

"Oh no. Oh hell no." Shido repeated again, staring at his bed in a mixture of hunger, fear and dread all mixed together with the love that was at the core of his feelings for the occupant currently laying strangely on his bed. Instinctively stepping a bit closer Shido looked down when his barefoot slide across what felt like silk. Looking down Shido leaned down and picking it up held it up in front of him, all the blood leaving his head when he realized what he was holding. Madoka's nightgown. But then... Looking back at Madoka Shido frowned, forcing his attention on what she was wearing for the first time. His eyes seeing easily in the dark he could make out that she was wearing something black, that looked like a T-shirt that was much to big for her and that..dear God in heaven..only came down to about mid thigh. Fixating on the fact for a stretch of time Shido finally forced himself to concentrate on the fact that she had to be cold in what she was wearing and forcing himself to take a few steps closer, intending to pull his covers over her his system took another blow when he realized just why the T-shirt was obviously too big for it to be hers. It was his. She was wearing his shirt..in his bed...with likely little to nothing between his shirt and her bare skin. Run away, Shido was the only thought in his mind. Run away now because if you don't you're going to join her on that bed. You know it and if you do you'll regret it..okay she'll regret it and then you'll regret it. Each step back like walking on nails Shido would have successfully run off if it weren't for the intervention of one of manywho was sick of the way his two favorite people were behaving. Barking loudly Mozart got to his feet and kicked up a hell of a ruckus.

* * *

Waking at the sound of her dog barking loudly Madoka sat up abruptly, fighting to throw off sleep. About to scream since she assumed there was something wrong the sound died in her throat as she heard Shido's voice, cursing her dog with words she'd never, ever heard come out of his mouth before. "Shido?"

Stopping in the middle of calling Madoka's precious dog every four letter and swear word in his entire vocabulary Shido went quiet then seeing the look on her face realized he'd scared her. "It's me. Don't worry."

"Why did Mozart bark like that?" Madoka asked, rubbing her eyes before turning her head to try and figure out exactly where Shido was since he wasn't saying anything now. "Did you step on him accidentally?"

"No, I guess...I just surprised him, that's all." Shido said stiffly, glaring in Mozart's direction, the dog not put off in the least. In fact Mozart was looking pretty damn pleased with himself, Shido thought darkly. "What are you doing in here?" Shido added abruptly, desperate for something to think about other then killing Mozart with his bare hands or joining Madoka on the bed. Either of which would get him kicked out of this house so fast his head would spin, Shido thought ruefully.

"In here?" Madoka repeated in confusion, not quite sure what he meant. Wasn't she in her room? But if she was in her room then why would Shido be in here and this didn't feet like her bedcover. Running hands over the material Madoka went bright red as she realized what must have happened. She'd just come in here to get his shirt and had laid down for a minute. She must have fallen asleep on his bed and..and..oh God but she was still wearing his shirt! Going even more red if it was possible Madoka struggled to apologize. "I'm so sorry, Shido. I didn't think you'd be back and I didn't think you'd mind and I didn't think you were coming back till later and...and...Oh God but this is so embarrassing." Madoka babbled, finishing her sentence by burying her face in her hands out of sheer desperation. This was the worst possible day of her life and that was saying something.

* * *

"Madoka?" Shido said with a hint of worry, stepping forward, the need to comfort instinctive as he reached out a hand to her, pulling it back once he realized what he'd been about to do. As much as he wanted to, touching her right now could only lead to more trouble. He wasn't quite sure why she'd been in here or was wearing his shirt but right now all that mattered was getting her back to her own bed and away from him.

"I...I sometimes wear your shirts...when you go away." Madoka finally said after a few seconds of completely silence. "I get..scared when you're away, worried that you won't come back or that you'll get hurt. I can't sleep well when you're away and it was even worse when you left because I thought I'd done something wrong. One of the servants, Maia, her husband is a truck driver and he's gone a lot and I heard her say to one of the other servants, Viola that when he's away..she..she wears one of his shirts because then it's like he's there. So I decided to try it and it did work and I..I had the shirt washed before I put them back so you wouldn't know. I came in to get one tonight and I..I must have fallen asleep on your bed. I'm sorry. So sorry. Please don't be mad."

* * *

Blinking Shido didn't know what to think. There had been occasions when he'd come back unexpectedly to find his closet looking slightly disturb or a shirt that seemed to carry the faintest traces of her scent but he'd just passed that off as to be expected living in the house with her. He'd been wearing shirts that she'd been wearing to bed. Something going soft inside at her words Shido gave into the need to reach out, his hand gently stroking her hair for a moment since she seemed so worried. "I'm not mad at you. In the future...you can borrow them any time you want." Shido said softly, absently playing with the strands of hair sliding against his fingers.

"Really?" Madoka asked, lifting her face up to look at him. "It's okay?"

"If it makes you feel better, why would I object?" Shido pointed out, reining in every thought and emotion in his head except to comfort and reassure her.

"Thank you." Madoka said shyly, the color dying down so that her cheeks were the only thing red rather then her whole face. "Why..why are you back so early?" She asked, suddenly remembering that he wasn't supposed to be here. At least not right that moment. She wasn't ready for him yet!

"I decided I'd rather be here." Shido replied, deciding it was best not to tell her that he would have likely killed Emishi if he'd had to be stuck in that apartment with that idiot for one more minute. If he did she'd want to know what Emishi had said and there was no way in hell he was explaining THAT to her. He'd jump out the window first before he'd do that. If anyone deserved to go out a window it was Emishi..or Mozart. He really wasn't fond of that dog right now.

* * *

"Oh, I'm well I'm glad you're back." Madoka said with a wide smile now, so happy that he'd come back. It didn't matter that things weren't going the way she'd pictured them at all. All that mattered was that he'd wanted to come home. To her. "Did you..have fun at Emishi's?"

"Fun is not a word I'd use to describe it." Shido said dryly, drawing his hand back, nearly jumping when Madoka's hand reached out to grab his wrist. "Madoka?"

Bring his hand up against her cheek Madoka nuzzled her face against it, nervous but sure that this was what she wanted. "Are you..okay now, Shido?"

"Madoka." Shido said softly in surprise, his eyes glued to the sight of her face nuzzling against his hand. Her own hand wrapped around his wrist to keep it there as if he'd pull away. Which he wouldn't even if she hadn't held on. "Yes, I'm fine." Shido assured her, brushing his fingers against her soft cheek. "I told you there was no reason to worry."

"I just couldn't understand, then Ban explained it to me. I understand why you wouldn't explain it to me." Madoka said her cheeks pink but at least she wasn't as nervous as she had been. Shido's presence always had a calming affect on her, even when he was the reason for the nerves in the first place. She knew that she could count on him, always.

* * *

"What does Snake for Brains have to do with any of this?" Shido wanted to know, a feeling of impending dread settling into his stomach. How could Ban explain anything to her unless...unless one of the others had volunteered some information they'd had no business telling anyone, least of all that damn Midou bastard.

"Well I guess I was more upset by you going then I realized and Kazuki and the others noticed. When I said that you'd gone away Kazuki tried to explain it to me but I couldn't get it. He paid off half of Ban and Ginji's tab to get Ban to explain it. His analogy was sort of hard to get too but I got it. Poor Ginji was out to sea though." Madoka said with a small smile, turning her head to place a kiss on his palm since she could practically feel the negative vibes start to roll off him. Hevn had said that the best way to calm a man was to stroke and kiss his thoughts away. She figured Hevn should know.

* * *

Completely floored by the innocent kiss to his palm it took a lot longer then it should have for the knowledge of what exactly Ban had done to get through to Shido conscious thought. Ban knew about his little problem. Ban had told Madoka about his little problem. Ban and Kazuki were going to have to die. Painfully and while fully aware. It was definitely going to take him a long time to come up with a punishment suitable for this but he would, oh he would and then there'd be hell to pay. Groaning Shido fell backwards on the bed, stretched out with one hand still in Madoka's grasp while the other came up to cover his eyes. "Those bastards." He hissed, not quite sure where to start, there were so many things he wanted to call them and do to them right now. "I can't believe Kazuki did this. Do I not have a single friend in this world that doesn't think it's funny to piss me off this time of year? Don't they realize that in the wild I'd have killed them all for this? Hell I still might." Shido muttered, utterly mortified as well as pissed off, unable to even look at Madoka. No wonder she'd been acting so sweet to him. She felt sorry for him or worse was trying to help him because she couldn't stand by and let him suffer when she thought she could do something about it. Oh yeah, blood was going to be shed and soon for this.

* * *

"Shido?" Madoka said quietly, not sure what was going on now. Letting his hand go she shifted to face him, reaching out wandering hands until she found his face, her cool hands brushing against his now warm cheeks and face. "Why are you so angry?"

"I'm not angry at you." Shido countered, nipping that right in the bud before it had time to take root. "I'm mad at the other idiots I used to call friends and that damn Midou."

"They were just trying to help, Shido, honest they were." Madoka said quickly, not wanting their friends to get into trouble for trying to help her. "If you want to be mad at someone it should be me. I'm the one that asked them to explain things to me. I wanted to know why you'd been so distant and even though it was a little bit...embarrassing to have it explained I'm glad they did. I'm glad I know why you left, that you came back even though you think you shouldn't have. I'm glad that I...that I...matter to you that way."

"You..you are?"

"Yes, I am. I love you, Shido. I'm happy that you think of me as more then a friend..that you see me as a woman too. Sometimes you treat me like a child, so it's nice to know, that you don't see me as one." Madoka said as she braced her hands on either side of his head, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his. This was it, the moment of truth. She really had to pull this off or she was going to regret screwing this up for the rest of her life. She wanted to be seen as a woman so she was going to have to act like one. To remind him that she was one. "I want to be with you always, Shido. I belong to you now. I want to belong to you." Madoka said softly before changing the angle of her head, turning it side ways so that she could brush her lips against his before deepening the kiss into one that was anything but childish.

* * *

Lust and love were far stronger then mortification and extreme anger, Shido found out, completely forgetting about the latter two as soon as her lips brushed against his. As soon as the kiss deepened he pretty much stopped thinking period much to Madoka's delight. Returning her kiss hungrily the two made out for a good five minutes before Shido managed to get enough brain cells working to pull away slightly, breathing heavily as he stared down at her. "Are you sure about this. If you aren't then go, I can wait until you're ready for this."

"I wouldn't have gone through the humiliation of letting Hevn pick out sexy lingerie for me this afternoon if I wasn't." Madoka said with a chuckle, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Sexy...lingerie?" Shido repeated, those remaining working cells already starting to shut down on him. Those that weren't busy filling his head with mental images anyway. If Hevn had picked them out...oh God but he was going to be a lucky, lucky man.

"Yeah...but I'm not wearing any of them...since you weren't supposed to be home today." Madoka said shyly, her cheeks going bright red. "Hevn said you'd like them, all I know is that there wasn't much material and that I wouldn't want to sleep in them. Hevn said that was the whole point."

"You can show me later." Shido said with a grin, a dangerous, predator grin as he lowered his head to nuzzle against her neck. Talk time was offically over. "Right now...I can only handle how sexy you look in my shirt...and how you're going to look out of it." Shido added with a wicked smile against her throat. Maybe he wouldn't kill Kazuki and Ban after all.

* * *

The Next Morning

"Well don't you all look bright and chipper." Hevn commented as she walked into the Honky Tonk to see Ban looking like hell, Emishi with a black eye as well as multiple cuts and bruises plus Kazuki looking more then a little strained around the edges. Ginji and Natsumi were the only ones who were their usual bright, cheerful selves. "You boys have a drinking party?"

"Hello, Miss Hevn." Ginji said with a weak smile, understanding her sediment exactly. "And no, there was just a little disagreement...that ended badly."

"Damn Midou." Emishi muttered as he got up from his seat with a wince, still plenty sore from the night before. "Shido isn't here yet, Miss Hevn."

"He won't be coming in today actually. I got a call from him this morning saying that he couldn't make it. He suggested that you get someone else to go with you if you still want the job." Hevn said with a cat that got the cream smile on her beautifully made up face. When an early bird like Shido called you at ten in the morning, sounding like he'd just woken up and passing on a job you knew there was something up. She was hoping that Madoka was responsible for that something.

"Why couldn't he make it?" Ban wanted to know, his eyes narrowing suspiciously.

"He didn't say. He sounded a little worn out and his voice was scratchy, maybe he caught something." Hevn said with a shrug, thinking to herself that husky and sexily sleepy were better word choices then scratchy. But if she was right, the last thing anyone needed was Ban getting killed going over to check on the happenings at the Otawa residence. "So anyway...what was this little disagreement about?"

* * *

Note: More to come so stay tuned lol. 


	5. Going on Visits

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the plot idea/situations I put them in. In other words pity the characters and prepare for insanity. Thanks to all my regular readers and hope to hear from you.

Going OnVisits

"Okay, so what's the plan again, Ban?" Ginji asked as they drove up Madoka's long driveway. The only thing that had kept Ban from trying to finish off Emishi was his suggestion that they should go see what was going on. Now that Ban looked so evilly happy he wasn't so sure his suggestion had been the right one.

"We're going to knock on the door and ask for Madoka. If she asks why we're visiting we play dumb about knowing Shido's there and tell her we just wanted to make sure she wasn't still upset." Ban informed his partner as he pulled up to the front of the house.

"But that would be lying, Ban."

"I'm aware of that, Ginji." Ban answered then seeing the disapproving look on Ginji's face sighed. "It's not really a lie though. After all, for all we know he never came back and went somewhere else. He could have called Hevn from anywhere after all and really be sick." Of course he didn't believe that for a minute but if it got Ginji moving without complaint then he was willing to pretend he thought it was possible.

"Poor Shido." Ginji said as he got out of the door, closing it behind him. "First being all torn up about Madoka AND then getting a cold on top of it. If he didn't get home we shouldn't tell Madoka that he might be sick. She'd worry."

"We won't breath a word." Ban promised as they headed up the stairs and arriving at the front door rang the bell, smiles on their faces when the butler opened the door. "Hello. Is Madoka home?" Ban inquired, leaning against the doorjamb.

* * *

"Yes. However Miss Madoka has expressed the wish not to be disturbed." The silver haired butler informed them in his oh so British voice. Emishi liked to joke that the guy had been serving Madoka's family since recorded time. Then again the butler didn't really care for Emishi and vice versa. 

"Is she okay though? She was a little upset yesterday so we came to make sure she was alright." Ginji informed the butler, looking upset at the idea that Madoka, a girl who loved visitors, had asked not to be disturbed.

"Miss Madoka is currently taking care of Mr. Shido who is ill." The butler informed Ginji, lying through his teeth and well aware of it. While his young mistress might think the excuse plausible she'd obviously forgotten that when Mr. Shido was hurt in any way, shape, or form she went into a panic, anxious and worried until Mr. Shido finally managed to calm her down. It was glaringly obvious that she wasn't any of those things. While she'd tried to look the part her eyes had given her away. But he was a loyal servant and not a word about this would pass his lips unless his mistress's father asked him about it directly.

"So Shido really is sick. Could we go up and see him?" Ginji asked, his eyes full of concern and panic. "Has he seen a doctor? Does he need one? We can go get one or medicine or anything he needs."

"That won't be necessary. Mr. Shido apparently only has a slight cold. I expect he'll be up and about later this evening or tomorrow morning." Or at least he better be, the butler silently added to himself.

"See, Ban. And you thought he was up to no good." Ginji said as he elbowed his friend in the side. "Here he is, sick and needing Madoka to nurse him back to health while you were thinking the worst of him. Don't you feel awful now?"

"I always think the worst of him." Ban muttered, unable to recall any time in their entire history where he'd said anything even remotely complimentary about the Beast Master. Nothing was coming to mind. "Well in that case we'll head out I guess. You'll tell her we stopped by?"

"Of course, Sir."

* * *

"Well thanks very much then." Ginji said with one of his beaming smiles before he and Ban headed back to their car. Sliding into his seat Ginji waited till Ban had slid into his before rubbing it in just a little more. "Now you're going to have to apologize to Emishi too. Turns out what he did didn't cause Madoka any trouble at all." 

"She has a sick Shido on her hands. I'd say that's plenty of trouble to plop into her lap." Was Ban's opinion as he started his baby up. There was no way in hell he was going to apologize to that whip carrying lunatic. No way in hell.

"Yeah but it's definitely not the trouble you accused him of causing." Ginji was quick to remind him. "You got everyone worried for nothing. I told you, Shido would never behave badly, especially towards Madoka."

"So then what was she buying for Shido to help him with his little spring fever problem." Ban demanded, not about to admit to the possibility that he was wrong about this whole situation. After all, maybe the cold had simply sidetracked Shido from his original intentions. That's it, Ban decided, satisfied with that explanation. They'd just have to drop in later on and make it clear to Shido that if he tried anything he was gonna end up back in bed only this time needing a great deal of medical assistance.

"Well I don't know but I'm sure it was perfectly innocent. Madoka would never buy anything...indecent." Ginji argued, a flush coming to his cheeks at the very idea.

"Yeah, unless she had Hevn around to help her. Who knows what that witch bought for Madoka. She might have even gotten Madoka stuff the poor kid wasn't even aware of!" Ban huffed, envisioning all the lovely little toys the evil Hevn might put into the innocent hands of their little Madoka.

"Like what?" Ginji wanted to know.

Saved from answering by the ringing of the phone Ban picked it up and talking for a few moments had a smile slowly coming across his features. Assuring Hevn that they were on the way Ban grinned before hanging up. "Ginji, we got ourselves a job."

* * *

A few hours later found Ginji and Kazuki staring through a window at Emishi, laying in his hospital bed looking like he'd been repeatedly run over by a car. "I feel sort of bad." Ginji said as he looked over at Kazuki. "I mean, Ban and I did take away his job." 

"Only after he'd gotten himself blown up trying to do it in the first place." Kazuki pointed out reasonably, patting Ginji on the shoulder. "Besides, you brought him that nice flower arrangement."

"Yeah. Ban didn't want to spend some of our money on that but I told him we wouldn't have had the money in the first place without Emishi. Plus it was sorta Ban's fault Emishi went on that job a little bashed up already." Ginji replied with a slightly sheepish look. "Speaking of which, where did he and Natsumi go again?" He'd come back from the bathroom to find both of them gone.

"Ban went to run Natsumi back to the Honky Tonk so she wouldn't be late for her shift. He figured you'd want to stay here a bit longer."

"Oh. Okay."

"Well, well. My Dear Ginji, whatever are you doing here? I hope you're all right." Came a calm, eerily so voice that had ever hair on Ginji's body standing up, even as his mind screamed No.

Turning slowly Ginji's eyes went wide with horror as he stared into the smiling face of none other then his arch nemesis. The man he feared more then Ban's wrath or even his best friend's driving. Akabane. "Kazuki..." Ginji began then going chibi despite himself had leapt and was now perched on Kazuki's shoulder, fighting the urge to try and hide behind his friend's plentiful hair.

"We're both fine." Kazuki informed Akabane's coolly, no more fond of the man then Ginji was. Akabane was an enigma, issue threats and compliments with the same pleasant face, even as he sliced a human being to pieces. "We're just visiting Emishi."

* * *

"Well that's relief, I don't know what I'd do if my poor Ginji were to be hurt. I hope your friend's injuries aren't severe." Akabane continued, all smiles while he enjoyed watching Ginji squirm and try to be s invisible as possible. His delight in causing his little friend discomfort was somewhat perverse but remained one of his greatest little pleasure. When he finally did manage to kill his darling Ginji he might even be a little sorry afterwards. 

"He'll...be fine." Ginji said weakly, determined to try and act like he wasn't totally freaked out. Which of course he was.

"Well that's good then. Ah, and here's your Beast Master and his lovely violinist." Akabane commented as he watched Shido march towards them with violent eyes that indicated he was going to put a stop to Akabane's little fun. Such an interesting young man.

"Shido! What are you doing here?" Ginji wanted to know as he hopped off on Kazuki's shoulder and rushed over to meet his friend. "Madoka's butler said that you were sick. You should be in bed!"

"Is Emishi alright?" Madoka asked before Shido could answer. Right now there were more important things to discuss then whether or not Shido was up to being there. "A nurse called our house to tell us he'd been in some sort of accident. How bad is he?"

"He'll be fine, no need to worry. Knowing him he'll be on his feet in a few days." Kazuki assured her as he watched Ginji go back to normal. Obviously Ginji had forgotten, in his concern for Shido, that Akabane was there.

"And what the hell are you doing here." Shido wanted to know, pointing a finger in Akabane's direction. Nothing good ever came from a visit from Akabane. "Are you the one that put Emishi in that hospital bed?"

"No, I was simply here for the blood donor clinic they're holding." Akabane said serenely, not put off in the least by Shido's aggressive tone. "As I was leaving I heard one of the nurses mention seeing someone that fit your Kazuki's description and inquired as to where she'd seen him. I thought perhaps one of my darling GetBackers might have been hurt."

"We aren't your darlings." Ginji said in a quivery voice, going back to chibi to hide behind Madoka's leg.

"You're Mr. Kuroudo?" Madoka asked, looking at him curiously though she couldn't see him of course. Whenever this man entered the Honky Tonk Shido always insisted on leaving. Shido wouldn't tell her why either, only that he was a very bad person. He didn't sound like a bad person though. Plus he'd come all the way to the fifth floor on the slight chance that Ginji or Ban was hurt.

"Yes, my dear. I'm afraid I've never really had the pleasure of making your acquaintance though I am quite a fan of your music." Akabane said cordially, moving forward to offer his hand only to be stopped by Shido moving to place himself between them, pushing Madoka gently behind him with Ginji following her. "But alas, I'm afraid your protector has once again thwarted that idea."

* * *

"Shido?" Madoka said in a questioning voice, lightly tugging on his sleeve. He was giving off a very aggressive vibe, much more then usual in fact. 

"It's all right, Madoka. Stay where you are." Shido said gently before turning his attentions back to Akabane. In the ways of most predators he bared his teeth as his eyes threatened all sorts of unspeakable pain. "I think you were just leaving, Akabane."

"Staking claim to your territory?" Akabane inquired with a hint of a real grin on his face, his eyes alight with the faintest traces of mischief. "One would think the mark you've left on the dear girl's neck would be more then enough. However, I will depart as I do have a job lined up to prepare for. Good day to you all, I hope for a speedy recovery for your friend." Having dropped his little bombshell he headed out while all eyes tried to get a look at Madoka which wasn't possible since Shido was shielding her from Kazuki and Ginji, who'd gone back to normal, couldn't see with her hair in the way.

"What did he mean, a mark on your neck?" Ginji wanted to know, trying to see through the dark tresses in the way.

"I don't know." Madoka said in confusion, lifting her hand to her own neck, running her fingers around as if to feel for it. What had he meant?

Turning to face Madoka Shido pushed her hair from her face, seeing what had been hidden by her hair earlier so that he hadn't noticed it until now. In other words too late to do something about hiding it. There, on her right side where her neck smoothed into her shoulder was a bite mark. His mark. Going a bit red in the cheeks he hastily pushed her hair back into place before Kazuki could see. "It's nothing."

"Oh really." Kazuki said dryly, his voice indicating that he didn't believe that for a moment. In fact his voice indicated that he had a really good idea as to what sort of a mark that Akabane had been referring to.

"Really." Shido said with a dark look, his eyes saying clearly that there would be hell to pay if Kazuki pushed the issue.

"Lets go and see, Emishi." Madoka suggested quickly, not sure that Shido was telling the truth exactly. In fact she had the distinct feeling that he was covering up something. "The nurse did say that we needed to sign some papers since he doesn't have any insurance. Who knows what they'll do if I don't go and tell them they'll get paid." She added with a weak laugh.

"You don't think they'd throw him out of his bed, do you?" Ginji asked in a horrified voice, completely forgetting about Akabane's strange comment for the moment.

"Well we better go make sure, Ginji." Madoka said as she took his arm and together the two headed down towards the nurses office with the other following close behind, Shido feverishly hoping that her hair would stay in place for just a while longer.

* * *

Once they'd visited with Emishi and insured that the doctors knew he had a friend in high places, Madoka's family being one of the hospital's chief donators everyone headed out. Shido was quick to usher Madoka into the limo then sliding in after her was quick to close the door behind them. "When we get home you need to change." Shido said with his cheeks starting to color up again as he tried not to even look at her. 

"Why? Is there a mark on my neck?" Madoka said in surprise as she once again tried to find it with her fingers as the car began to move.

"Yes."

"From what? I didn't have a mark before, did I?" Madoka said in confusion, quite sure that there hadn't been any mark or at least fairly sure. Someone would have told her, wouldn't they have?

"You have one now from...I left a mark on your neck. I should have...your skin is more delicate then most I suppose." Shido said as he looked away from her. At least he hoped that was the case. He didn't want to believe it had been a case of him being too rough with her.

"You...oh." Madoka said softly, her cheeks heating up as his meaning his home. "Yes, it is. My skin I mean." Seeing his face and remember a comment he'd made that morning she reached out and feeling around took his hand into hers. "But I don't mind."

"Well...just put a turtle neck on when we get back or a high necked shirt." Shido said as he brought her hand up to his lips in a show of affection as a way of apologizing for the mark. Thank God Ginji and Kazuki hadn't seen the mark. While Kazuki might suspect it wasn't the same as knowing. Thank God Snake for Brains hadn't been there. Ginji wouldn't have forgiven him for killing the bastard.

"Okay." Madoka said as she leaned against him, delighted with the show of affection. From Shido it was paramount to a declaration of love from most people. "Do you need to wear a turtle neck too?"

* * *

Eyes going wide at the thought Shido hoped that he didn't. He had a standard wardrobe that certainly didn't include turtlenecks. Then again he was pretty sure that Kazuki or Akabane would have mentioned it. "I don't think so. My skin's more then a little tougher then yours, Madoka." 

"That's true." Madoka said with a smile, nuzzling her face against his arm, delighting in the fact that she could do that now. That she knew that he wouldn't think her forward or inappropriate. "Hevn said that you have a tan all the time because you spend so much time outdoors. That must make your skin pretty tough even though it's really smooth. Well except for your hands, those have callouses on them."

Now having a whole other reason to go red Shido could only shake his head at what she was saying. "Do I even want to know what else she said?"

"Well she said that you're really hot looking, whatever that means." Madoka said with a thoughtful look on her face as she tried to remember everything that Hevn had said to her yesterday. "Oh and she said that the best way to get you into my bed was to come into your room naked but I told her there was no way I could pull that off without fainting in embarrassment."


	6. Have You Seen

Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I've put them in. Everything else belongs to somebody else so remember to give the credit and flames where they're due. Thanks to all my readers out there, especially to those who bothered to review!

Have You Seen...

A few days later Ginji sat at the counter with a thoughtful look on his face and an empty plate in front of him. Thanks to Kazuki they were getting food again and it was good to know he wasn't going to be starving any time soon. Poor Kazuki had paled when he'd heard how bad their tab was though. He was feeling a little guilty over that. They should have told him before he'd made that deal with Ban.

"So where's your other half?" Paul asked as he sat down the glass he'd been drying.

"Huh? Who? Oh! You mean Ban, don't you?"

"Yeah, exactly." Amused as always by the lovable but usually clueless blond Paul had to admit that as annoying and costly as the GetBackers were they certainly made his life that much more interesting. Especially when their friends were around.

"I'm not sure where he is actually. We were supposed to meet here ten minutes ago." Looking towards the door then back to Paul Ginji shrugged good naturedly. "He'll turn up eventually. We had to skip lunch this morning after all and you're the only place that will feed us on credit anymore."

"Now that doesn't surprise me." He knew he was considered the laughing stock of the street because everyone thought he was letting himself be taken advantage of horribly. Which was true unfortunately, he thought with a sigh as he took Ginji's empty plate. he was getting better at saying no though. At least he chose to believe that.

* * *

"So when is Natsumi coming in today? Shouldn't she be here already?" Ginji asked with a longing look towards the door, as if wanting her to appear would make it happen.

"She wasn't feeling well so I gave her the day off. Speaking of not feeling well..how's Shido?" Paul asked with a slight smirk on his face. He couldn't help it, he still found the whole thing completely hilarious. He was fond of Madoka and knew that despite what the others had been worrying over he knew that she was in good hands. If something did happen between her and Shido, Shido wouldn't be going anywhere.

"I don't know, I haven't seen him or Madoka since that day in the hospital when we all went to see Emishi." Frowning Ginji decided he'd call Natsumi once he and Ban were on the road. He hoped it was nothing serious. Maybe he should stop by her house and see her later?

"Well I'm sure they're both fine."

Doing his best to pay attention to the conversation and push his worries about Natsumi aside Ginji gave Paul a questioning look. "It doesn't bother you either huh? It's really been bothering Ban. I think Shido and Madoka make a great couple."

"Ban's just got an overly developed big brother complex. No one is good enough for her as far as he's concerned and it probably would be the same if it were Himiko or Sakura." Paul explained, having to admit he sort of agreed with Ban. He liked all three of those girls a lot and they deserved the very best. Unfortunately unlike Ban he also believed that Madoka had the right to pick her man, especially a good one like Shido. "Poor Sakura, all those Volts guys protecting her like her own personal army. It's really no wonder that she spends most of her time taking care of Mokubex."

"Of course we have to protect Sakura! She's like our mother and sister all rolled into one. No one's good enough for her." Ginji declared, perfectly serious on this point. To the Volts Sakura was the perfect woman and they'd all die before they'd let some jack ass put their hands on their precious princess.

"Right..."

* * *

"You're such an idiot, Ban. I swear, when God was handing out intelligence he skipped you completely! Or better yet it made you as smart as a monkey!" Himiko was snarling as the two walked into the Honky Tonk, shoulder to shoulder and snarling at each other.

"Well if I have the intelligence of a monkey then that would give you the brain power of a single celled organism." Ban shot back, his brilliant blue eyes flashing dangerously. He hated to be called a monkey, especially since that was what he called that damn Shido.

"Uh oh." Ginji said under his breath, sending Paul a pained look. "All right you two." He began, getting to his feet with his hands up in a defensive manner. "What's wrong this time?"

"What isn't wrong with this idiot." Was Himiko's opinion as she drilled a finger into Ban's chest.

"Ouch! Hey, get a friggin manicure, Himiko." Ban yelped, slapping her hand away from his chest as he marched over to sit in the stool beside Ginji. "And this is our hangout, Himiko so why don't you go get lost? That shouldn't be hard for someone with your brain power."

"Hey, no chasing off the customers that actually pay." Paul warned, giving Ban a good glare for emphasis. "Can I get you something, Himiko?"

She hadn't intended to get anything but now that Ban had tried to kick her out... "Yeah, I'd love some iced tea actually."

"Coming right up. You three behave." He added as he went over to grab a bottle from the fridge for her.

* * *

"She's the one that's picking the fights." Ban grumbled, shooting a dark look in Himiko's direction, the girl wisely choosing to sit a couple chairs away from him with Ginji stuck between them. "Sorry I'm late, Ginji." He added as an afterthought.

"That's okay, Ban."

"So how are Shido and Madoka doing?" Himiko asked, just to grate on Ban's nerves. Accepting the bottle of tea from Paul she smiled her thanks as she turned her head to watch Ban's face go livid with annoyance.

"I don't want to talk about it." Ban muttered, not about to admit that the reason that he'd been late was because he'd gone to Madoka's place to see just what was going on over there. It hadn't taken him long to put two and two together and unfortunately Madoka had made him swear not to maim, much less kill the bastard. Her eyes had gone and big and shiny, what else could he do but promise? Damn Monkey Boy, Ban thought bitterly. "He damn well better marry her." Ban muttered under his breath, a stubborn look on his face.

"Huh?" Close enough that he'd heard the muttering Ginji looked at his partner in surprise. "Are you talking about Madoka and Shido? You want them to get married?"

"Of course I don't want them to get married, Ginji! If I had my way Monkey Boy would be dead and Madoka would end up with some nice guy who was good enough for her. Unfortunately she had to go and fall in love with that dumb idiot and ruin her life."

"Hey!" Ban might have been his very best friend but Shido was a best friend too. "Don't talk about Shido that way, Ban." The serious look on Ginji's face and the fact that his hair was standing up on the back of his neck from the increase in electrical waves in the room told Ban that he needed to apologize quick or be in a lot of power induced pain.

"Fine, so he's not dumb." Ban muttered by way of apology. He wasn't taking the rest back.

Eyes still narrowed suspiciously Ginji wasn't about to let the topic drop just yet. "So then what did you mean when you said he damn well better marry her."

"I meant if he's got her pregnant, Ginji."

* * *

"Oh." He hadn't thought of that. A thoughtful look coming over Ginji's face he tried to picture a baby Shido and thought all that spiky hair would be really cute. A baby Madoka would be really cute too. What would a baby between them look like, Ginji wondered, trying to picture a little girl that looked like Shido. Okay...that wasn't nearly as cute as a little Madoka. "Well he'd definitely marry her then, Ban. I'm sure of it." Ginji finally said, pushing those weird images aside. If it was a little girl he really hoped she looked like her mother.

"Do you know how many wild animals ditch their females once they've knocked them up?" Ban demanded to know, sliding his glasses further up his nose. "It was his animal side that got them into this situation in the first place after all." Okay, so he was grasping at straws here. He didn't care. Madoka's happiness was at stake and no one was letting him do anything about getting rid of a certain Monkey Boy who needed to be exterminated. Was he the only one who had the brains to realize that this was all a bad idea?

"Dear God." Himiko groaned, eavesdropping on their conversation. "Come on, Ban. Listen to yourself. We all know that Shido isn't that kind of guy and you know it too. Besides, he'd have to be stupid to think any of us would let him get away with it if he did try and abandon Madoka."

"Maybe he is." Ban grumbled, not about to admit that only an idiot would think they could get away with messing with any of their girls. He wasn't fond of many of the Volts but he'd certainly lend them a hand if some bastard hurt Sakura, just as they would all go after anyone who hurt Madoka or Natsumi. Real men took care of their women folk, even if Kazuki did look like a chick.

"Ban..." The warning was definitely in Ginji's voice this time.

"Yeah, yeah."

* * *

"What did he do now?" Paul wanted to know as he came back behind the counter after retrieving a package of napkins from the back. It didn't take a genius to figure out that they were still discussing Shido and that the conversation hadn't improved any. If Ginji was getting mad Ban must really be going anti Shido today.

"He's suggesting that if the stork comes to Madoka Shido would split." Himiko answered as she guzzled the rest of her drink down, pushing her empty bottle towards Paul's side of the counter. "We've been loudly disagreeing with him."

"What's a stork got to do with anything?" Looking confused Ginji looked from Paul to Himiko for an answer.

"She just means a baby coming. It was an old wives tale that storks brought babies." Paul explained, not surprised that Ginji had been as clueless as always, Jubei was right, you really did have to spell it out to the guy if you wanted him to get it.

"Really?" Ginji thought that was incredibly weird and even harder to understand then Ban's cookie analogy. How did that explain the growing tummy and doctors visits? "And people really believed that?" He wanted to know, finding that hard to believe.

"Well mostly just children. It was sort of a cop out for parents to explain to their children where their new brother or sister came from." A sheepish looking coming over Ban's face he patted Ginji's shoulder. "When you get down to it it's not that much worse then all the stupid ways we tried to explain sex to you guys."

"Too bad babies weren't really delivered by storks, then Shido could special order one that looked just like Madoka. Parents would come from miles around to talk to the only guy that can speak stork." Ginji joked with a grin.

* * *

Everyone breaking out laughing at the idea they could only imagine how Shido would feel about being the official spokesperson for the baby delivering storks.

"You know, now that I think about it..there are a lot of weird sayings and ideas we use when someone's pregnant. Why do you suppose that it?" Ban mused thoughtfully, the change in topic a welcome one. If they stayed on the topic of Shido things were bound to get ugly really soon. "I mean considering how desensitized our culture is to sex and violence, you'd think we wouldn't use or need them."

"That's good point." Thoughtful now Himiko nodded in agreement, even though as a general rule she hated to agree with him about anything. "And why such stupid stories like babies being brought by storks or left under cabbage leaves."

"Completely off topic but is that where the name for those dolls they had when we were kids came from, do you think?" Ban asked no one in particular. "I remember Himiko had one in her room."

"When I was child! I just kept it as a..a keepsake." Cheeks going red she glared at Ban, wishing she could take her bottle back from Paul and bash Ban over the head with it. How dare he tell everyone that! The jerk! "I'm sure you had your stupid action figures to play with."

"I think you'd be hard pressed to find a guys who didn't play with action figures." Paul pointed out, not about to come right out and admit that he had. He probably still had some of his packed up somewhere come to think of it. Either that or his mom would have saved them, knowing mom.

"I didn't, does that mean I'm not a guy?" Ginji asked, looking worried at the thought. Of course he didn't think Kazuki, Mokubex or Jubei had either which made him feel a little better.

"Well I don't think they probably sold them in the Limitless Fortress so you not having any wasn't really your fault." Putting a reassuring hand on Ginji's shoulder Ban wondered just what kids in the Limitless Fortress played with. Somehow he doubted there had been a surplus of toys rolling around there.

* * *

Getting back to the original topic at hand." Paul began, not wanting to get into a topic about what they'd all played with as kids. "Why do you think we come up with all these stupid sayings, stories and analogies? I agree with Ban that in today's culture it seems sorta stupid."

"Not to mention pointless." Himiko added with a grimace. "You listen to today's teenagers and they have worse mouths and know more about sex then some of the people our age. I mean look at Natsumi and Madoka in comparison."

"Not to mention that some of the stuff they wear is as bad as Hevn." Ginji muttered, shaking his head. Not that he didn't appreciate the views and all but there was such a thing as a limit to how much you should show of your body in public.

"Yeah, remember that one school girl who went all gushy over Jackal? I mean how messed up is our society when he's considered crush material?"

"I'm still trying to forget that night actually, Ban." Came a voice the doorway and everyone turned to see Kazuki standing there with Mokubex beside him.

"What happened?" Mokubex asked, looking from Kazuki to Ban. Somehow he got the feeling that this would be a really interesting story.

"Anyone here tells him and I garrote that person." Kazuki said carefully, his eyes making it quite clear that he was perfectly serious about this. No one in the room could really blame him either since they'd have rather been caught dead then gone through the..transformation Kazuki had.

"That bad huh." Mokubex commented, a lot more interested as he walked over to take a seat on one of the stools. "Can I have a milkshake and a small pepperoni pizza please, Paul." He rarely left the Limitless Fortress and whenever he did he always made it a point to stop here and have some of Paul's famous pizza. That and usually they could find their emperor here if they needed to talk to him.

"Coming right up. Anything for you, Kazuki?" Paul asked with a questioning look at the beautiful young man who'd taken a seat beside Mokubex. It still gave him a shock that Kazuki was really a guy and not a flat chested girl the way everyone else always assumed at first meeting the thread master. No one could really blame them either. Well other than Kazuki that was.

"I'll just steal a slice from Mokubex. A Coke would be good to go with it though. Thanks."

"No problem."

* * *

"So, have any of you guys seen Shido recently?" Kazuki asked and was rewarded by Ginji, Himiko and Ban looking like they wanted to hit him. "What did I say?"

"It's a long story." Ginji explained with a sigh,

"I still can't get over your cookie analogy, Ban." Mokubex piped up, hoping to get Kazuki out of whatever hot water he'd gotten into by mentioning Shido. "Kazuki told it to me and I thought it was really creative if a bit too complicated for Mr. Ginji."

"Though not quite good enough to make up for how much money I had to fork over to pay half their tab." Kazuki grumbled, looking over at Paul as he brought their drinks over. "How could you let them run up so high of a debt without collecting? Especially knowing the odds of them ever paying that money back."

"I ask myself that daily."

"Quiet, Threadhead."


	7. A Final, Lengthy Discussion

Disclaimer: I own nothing but the original characters and the situations I put everyone in. Everything else belongs to somebody else so just deal with that fact and move on. Thanks for reading and please review because I'd love to hear from you!

A Final, Lengthy Discussion

Six Months Later

"I hate ties." Ginji muttered as he sat on the barstool, pushing his glass back and forth between his hands. As the big day approached he was getting more and more worried, more so because Ban was becoming more and more irrational about the whole thing. He was in charge of keeping Ban in line after all and right now there were a lot of jobs he'd rather be doing. Like facing off against Jackal in a battle to the death for one. Okay, so maybe it wasn't that bad but it was certainly right up there. Needing to take his mind off that fact, Ginji contented himself with bitching about his recently acquired addition to his wardrobe. "I don't see why I have to wear one since I'm not the one getting married. It's outside, for Christ sakes. Who needs a tie outside?"

"You know, there are better things to be complaining about other than having to dress up." Ban pointed out from his seat beside his partner. They were both bone tired after a particularly exhausting mission and neither intended to get out of their seat any time soon. Thankfully the Honky Tonk was never busy enough that they couldn't just sit there for hours without being shooed out. Unless their tab as too high for Paul to tolerate their presence.

"You're just mad because Shido didn't ask you to be part of the wedding party."

"I wouldn't have even if he had asked me. That's not the point, Ginji. The point is that in two days Monkey Boy is going to marry one of our very best friends and we can't stop it because she'd never forgive us!" Looking the picture of a condemned man Ban didn't know what was worse, having to attend the wedding or refusing to attend and than seeing how hurt Madoka would be afterwards. Not to mention the fact that Volts members would be lining up to kill him for ruining her day, Ban thought darkly.

"You need to get over this whole objection thing." Used to this argument by now since Ban had been bitching about it for months Ginji didn't even bother to try and defend Shido. It always went right over Ban's head anyway.

"Over my dead body."

"It will be if you keep talking like that."

* * *

Turning in his seat to glare at Himiko Ban saw his day going from bad to worse. Ginji you could argue with but Himiko was another story. She never listened to him and took delight in contradicting him just for the hell of it. "What do you want?" He asked rudely, giving her a dark look from over his purple shades. "Shouldn't you be off somewhere poisoning someone or something?" 

"I just got back from my final dress fitting." Was her smug response, knowing how much the idea of the wedding was irking him. She'd been honored when Madoka had asked her to be one of her bridesmaids and she had no intention of standing around and letting Ban ruin everything. As it was, she'd go easier on him then any of the groomsmen. "Now quit whining like a baby, will you? If you keep this up you're going to have no friends left by the end of the ceremony. This wedding is going to happen whether you like it or not so just suck it up and be a man for once in your life."

"You know your mouth is moving but I'm not hearing a word you say." Was his response to that as he smirked over at her. "And Ginji would never desert me, right, Ginji?"

"I'm counting down the hours till they're married so that you'll have to stop all your ranting."

"There you go." Sliding into the seat on Ginji's other side Himiko patted her blond friend sympathetically on the shoulder. "And hey, just remember that the reason he's in such a lousy mood is because Madoka would have never figured out the whole twitterpation thing if he hadn't come up with that whole cookie analogy."

* * *

"Ah yes, the cookie analogy." Paul said with a fond sigh as he came out from the back, having heard the bell above the door chime. "Someone really should write that one down. What can I get for you, Himiko?" 

"It is not my fault those two got together!" Grumbling bad temperedly while Himiko gave her order Ban couldn't imagine what he'd possibly done to deserve this. Everyone was against him on this but any fool could see that this wedding was so very wrong. Madoka could do so much better than Monkey Boy and as her friend wasn't it his duty to tell her that? But no, everyone got mad whenever he tried and in the last week alone they'd turned him black and blue from all their whacks and elbowing.

"Maybe we just need to find Ban a cookie?" Ginji suggested, trying to be helpful and defuse a possible fight before things got any worse. "I'm sure there will be lots of girls at the wedding party that you could hit on, Ban. There's something to look forward to huh?"

"Yeah, watching him get shot down is always amusing." Himiko agreed with a faint scowl, not liking the idea of girls converging on Ban, who could be really hot when his hair didn't look like Ginji had electrocuted him. Not that she'd ever admit that out loud of course. He could also be a charming bastard when he wanted to be too, she thought darkly, her good mood fading away to one more akin to Ban's current one.

"And the guys are just going to line up to dance with a tomboy like you." Was Ban's sarcastic response to that catty remark, thinking not for the first time that he really had to do something about adjusting Himiko's attitude before she ended up an old maid before she was twenty. Not that he particularly cared for the idea of her dating some punk but at least than she'd have something better to do then make his life a living hell whenever possible.

* * *

Seeing the sparks begin to fly Ginji quickly put his hands up in self defense. "Oh come on you, two, can't you guys behave yourselves for once, please? You're both great and I'm sure you'll both be very popular at the party and have to fight the opposite sex off with sticks." Laying it on thick Ginji was desperate to stop a fight before he got dragged into the middle the way he always was when there was no one else around to help him break them up. He and Ban couldn't afford to pay damages! 

Eyes still shooting sparks in Ban's direction Himiko forced herself to relax and return to her seat for Ginji's sake, changing the subject for all their sakes. "So, Ginji, did you ask Natsumi to go to the wedding with you?"

"She's going with some guy she knows." Was his sighed response to that one though he shrugged it off as casually as he could manage. He really liked Natsumi after all but she probably wasn't the right sort of girl for him anyway. Given the way he attracted trouble like crazy it was probably better if he dated women like Himiko who could handle themselves in tough situations. Natsumi would try and he didn't want to think about the sort of problems and complications she'd cause. He caused more than enough as it was.

"That's too bad." Patting him on the shoulder again sympathetically Himiko could perfectly understand. If it weren't for the fact that most of Shido's friends were bachelors and wouldn't be bringing dates either she'd have been totally depressed about going to the wedding alone. As it was, there was likely to be more single people there than couples. Amused by that Himiko couldn't help but comment on it. "Hey, Ginji, why do you suppose all of our friends are single and Shido of all people is the only one of us with marriage ahead of him?"

"Huh...I never really thought about that before. Why do you think that is, Ban?"

"You have to ask? Because who would want to marry any of the people we hang out with. Madoka's literally blind when it comes to Shido, there aren't that many people walking around in the Limitless Fortress like that who live very long." Was his dry answer.

* * *

"That's not true, we have lots of nice girls at the Limitless Fortress." Ginji argued, standing up for his former home which wasn't paradise but was in some ways better than some other places in the world he'd read about in the paper. "Makubex spends all his time with Sakura so he just doesn't meet most of them and you know that Kazuki and Juubei aren't interested in girls. For that matter Emishi loves girls, plural!" 

"I don't know if nice is the word, Ginji. A lot of them need charm school and a shrink more then Himiko here. Talk about your violent tendencies."

A definite twitch appearing under Himiko's right eye she was definitely feeling violent as she grinched her teeth. "Well keep this up and when they arrest me for your homicide I'll have to see one whether I like it or not."

"Can't we just all get along?"

"No!" Was Himiko and Ban's simultaneous answer which caused them to glare at each other venomously.

"And they are at it again." Emishi noted with a grin as he opened the door, holding it open for Kazuki who led Juubei in with Makubex taking up the rear. Everyone taking a seat Himiko quickly filled them in on the argument, leading Emishi to launch into a long winded speech about how great the women in his clan were and how Ban was just jealous since the only women he hung out with on a regular basis were Natsumi and Hevn. This sparked an even larger debate since Ban had to defend himself by bringing the terrible love lives of the others into question to which they all had heated rebuttals. Soon everyone was yelling at everyone and Ginji was the only quiet one, hunched over his drink as he tried not to think about what his friends were saying about each other. Even Makubex was getting into it for Christ sakes.

Seeing that everyone got their orders Paul did his best to stay out of it, moving over to Ginji who looked positively miserable where he was. "Anything else for you?" He asked, seeing a way to give Ginji an excuse for not joining in the conversation. One, it was getting really bad and two, Ginji just wasn't in Emishi or Ban's league with the ladies.

"Maybe I should just ask one of my old girlfriends to go with me." Was Ginji's reply after a thoughtful pause, wincing as Ban gave Emishi a very creative suggestion as to what he could do with his whip.

"Huh?"

* * *

"Well maybe one of them would go with me. Plus, if I bring someone with me, she could help me keep an eye on Ban." Looking quite pleased with the idea Ginji was glad to have something constructive to do that would also keep him out of harm's way once the punches started coming. "Could I have a pen and a piece of paper please?" 

Curious Paul gave Ginji what he asked for, watching the blond man get up from his seat to go to one of the booths, writing away in what looked to be a list with the occasional scribbling out.

Meanwhile, no one noticed he was gone until Ban moved to get Ginji's assurance that he'd back him up in his plans to kill Emishi by stuffing one of Himiko's poisons down the bastard's neck. Since Emishi had made the mistake of calling Himiko a figureless tomboy she already had the flame perfume out and in her hand and ready to go. Turning to see his partner's seat suddenly empty Ban blinked in surprised confusion. "Where the hell is Ginji?"

"He's over there making a list." Makubex informed him, having left the fight since he really didn't have much to add anymore. It was really mostly between Emishi, Himiko and Ban now. Everyone else was just rooting for one or the other.

"What? Ginji, what the hell are you making a list for?" Ban demanded to know, temporarily forgetting that he was supposed to be killing Emishi.

"Of girls to ask to the wedding. I've got about twenty good possibilities and about another twelve that I might have a chance with if I really kiss up to them."

* * *

Everyone turning to stare at Ginji in surprise Himiko couldn't help but ask the question that was on everyone's minds. "And how do you know all these girls?" They were all probably former clients, she thought with a pitying look in the blonde's direction. Either that or former Volts members who would go with him because he was their former Emperor. 

"Well I've either dated them or slept with them or both. Mostly both." Ginji explained, looking up from his list. "I've crossed out most of the ones that I just slept with though since obviously I didn't like them enough to date them too. Those were in the good ole days when I was too shallow to know better." He explained with a grave expression on his face. "Now I always date them first."

Suddenly knowing how a father felt when he learned his daughter was no longer a virgin Kazuki was grateful he was sitting down. "How could he be dating women without us knowing?" He muttered to no one in particular, everyone else sharing the sentiment exactly.

"He was the Lightening Emperor." Juubei pointed out, the least fazed of the bunch. "It does stand to reason that he could have had any woman in our territory he wanted. They threw themselves at all of us after all, and we were just his underlings."

Faced with the horrifying fact that his partner might have had more women than him Ban got to his slightly shaky feet and numbly walked over, taking the list from a surprised Ginji to then quickly read down the list. There were a number of names scribbled out and he got the sinking feeling that his earlier fear was quite possibly correct. His best friend, the blond bubble head, had had more women than he had. Sitting down in the booth beside Ginji Ban could feel the life draining out of him.

"Hey, Ban, are you okay?" Ginji wanted to know, poking his unresponsive friend in the shoulder.

"This is going to really amuse Sakura later."

* * *

"That's it!" Makubex's words causing a light bulb to go off Ginji's face lit up as he forgot about Ban and yanked out his cell phone, quickly punching in numbers while his quietly fascinated audience watched him like hawks. "Hi, Sakura?" ... "Yeah, he's fine, he's here with me right now."... "Sorry to worry you. Anyway, the reason I was calling was I was wondering if you'd be my date for Shido and Madoka's wedding?" ... "No, I'd much rather go with you than anyone else but if there someone you want to go with I understand and..."... "Oh, really? Great! Than I'll see you there. Oh! And what color is your dress so I can bring you one of those flower thingies you put on your wrist." ... "Of course I'm going to. A beautiful woman deserves beautiful flowers and I want to get you one." 

"He's not talking about our Sakura right?" Emishi said slowly, looking at the two former Kings for guidance. "I mean it's Sakura!" Sakura was like the mother/sister most of them had never had and all of them had brotherly feelings towards her that didn't allow them to think about her as a woman, much less one they could date or see romantically. There was just no way.

"No, it couldn't possibly be my sister." Shaking his head Juubei refused to believe otherwise. His older sister and the Emperor were just too different and Sakura wasn't interesting in dating anyone, especially a younger man. "He would never ask her out on a date."

"Yeah, and it's not like she's the sort of woman you date after all." Makubex chimed in, in perfect agreement that there was no way Ginji could possibly be making a date with his personal assistant.

"Boy you guys are really pissing her off." Ginji said in a hushed tone, holding his phone slightly away from his ear as Sakura's muffled but obviously furious resorts came blasting out. "You are all so dead." He added, just in case they didn't realize that. "She says she's going to find the most revealing, figure baring formal dress she can get her hands on for the wedding and show you all just how much of a woman she really is."

Several faces going pale as Ginji tried to smooth Sakura's ruffled feathers the atmosphere quickly became as depressing as it had been during Ban's rants against the upcoming marriage. This was not good. Definitely, not good.

"She wouldn't really do that, would she, Kazu?" Juubei asked, clutching Kazuki's slender hand for support as he stared unseeingly in his lover's direction.

"She is stubborn enough." Feeling mildly ill at the idea of seeing Sakura, who was practically his own sister, in that sort of clothing Kazuki didn't know what was worse, finding out his Ginji wasn't as innocent as he seemed or the mental images of what was to come once Sakura got ahold of them. Juubei wasn't the only one who knew how to use needles after all.

Trying to comfort Himiko leaned over to pat Jubbei's other hand. "Don't worry, I mean look at what she normally wears. She isn't the type to wear anything you couldn't handle seeing your mother in."

"You're so lucky she hung up before you said that." Putting his phone back in his pocket Ginji shook his head at the lot of them. Boy were Makubex and Emishi ever in for it when they got home! Sakura had even been talking about painting Makubex's room pink when she'd gotten off the phone. She was mad enough to do it too. "And I don't understand why you guys are so bent out of shape about this. What's wrong with asking Sakura out?"

"Oh great, now you have a date and I don't, just to cap off this wonderful evening." Was Ban's muttering which was barely heard over Makubex, Emishi, Juubei and Kazuki, who were all trying to explain to Ginji why Sakura was off limits.

* * *

Once everyone paused for breath Ginji took the opportunity to speak up in his defense. "Come on guys, it's okay, really. It's not like this is really such a big deal you know. Just because Sakura is my kind of cookie doesn't mean that anything is going to come of this. If it makes you feel better, I promise I won't even nibble on the cookie until Sakura says it's all right." 

And once again, there was silence in the Honky Tonk, only to be broken by one of Ban's very loud, very familiar, "DAMMIT, GINJI! WHY DID I EVER COME UP WITH THAT STUPID ANALOGY!"

The End


End file.
